Culture Riot

So the tone of this here blog is definitely going to change. The job search is, uh… long. Lots of checking my email every hour; lots of not letting my phone outta sight; lots of printing out my resume. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why in the world I didn’t start this sooner and then I remember that living in Santa Cruz and looking for work in “the Los Angeles area” wasn’t easy to coordinate. Speaking of Santa Cruz…

I don’t really hear much about what happens after college. Yeah, there are the alumni who came through UCSC once or twice for their still-in-school buddies; but I’ve only had a few real insights into the world after college. I don’t mean the “real world”, because we’ve been told that we’re going out into the real world since we graduated from kindergarten. “Watch out for the first grade; it’s the real deal; no more snack time; no more nap time; and you have to hold your pee!”

I mean the eerie, annoyed feeling I get when I hear commercials for non-surgical, European face-lifts on Christian radio with a MAN testifying about the wonders it did for his WIFE. All I can think about is: whoa, the intersectionality of this broadcast is overwhelming why is it the guy praising this procedure when it’s his wife who got it done why is Christian radio pimpin a fountain-of-youth product what about the woman’s voice? the woman’s VOICE!

Nope. No one tells you that your brain has transformed itself overnight. You start seeing things in a very different, sometimes over-analytical mindset. Every intention of every relationship gets questioned. I smile at all the black people I see in Los Angeles, because that’s how we roll in Santa Cruz; but if there are only two black people for every 100 person you see out there, that’s okay. You’re probably not doing a lot of smiling. In Los Angeles? You’re smiling all the freakin time. I might look a little crazy, grinning at everyfolk.

I hope that this thinking doesn’t overwhelm me completely because I really would like to see me actually do something; being about change instead of just speaking, thinking or even writing about it. Here’s to the future!